Posted by: Rob | July 18, 2009

July 18

Just another date for most, a date of special significance or memory for some.

For me, it marks the day of my first marriage; twenty eight years have passed since that hot day in July way back in 1981.  I wrote a bit about it last year and made it a song lyric post.

The last anniversary we celebrated while Shelley was alive was in 2006.  It was our 25th.  Twenty-five is typically one of the “big” ones to celebrate.  And we had planned to do so during a family reunion.

Unfortunately, Shelley was much too ill, weak and otherwise unable to make such a trip (it would have been a 5 or so hour drive), so we stayed home.  We had supper and spent the evening looking through our photo albums (which cover pretty much all the years we were together).  The kids were home and my Mom was here.  It was quiet and small, much different, I imagine, from what we would have had at the family reunion.

The day we married it was something like 31 C.  Today it was nearly that.  I didn’t have plans to do anything significant, so the universe made some for me.  I spent a few hours in the OR getting a bit of day surgery and have since been sitting around at home or napping.  More on that later, perhaps.

A common thing for widowed people is a kind of innate knowledge of the calendar and the dates that hold meaning with those who are gone somehow generally make themselves known.  I’m not sure why that is.  Perhaps it’s a kind of connection to our lost loved ones as well as a way to prove to ourselves that we’re not forgetting them.  Like that could ever happen.


  1. “Like that could ever happen.”


  2. nice remembrance… and here’s to a speedy recovery from an unwanted adventure in the hospital

  3. You never forget, even when a marriage ends in divorce instead of death. Heal well, my friend.

  4. xx

  5. My perfect job is professional tour golfer – unfortunately I am crap!

  6. I think the body has its own ways of making us slow down and pay attention to our lives. I’m sorry yours decided to get so dramatic about it.

    And I liked Annie’s rendition of the “tail.” 😉

  7. Some of my fondest memories are the simple celebrations during the illness. In actuality, I think those celebrations are better than the hoopla type, because of their intimacy.

    I hope you had a day of peace and good memories, Rob. Sorry I’m late in commenting, I missed this post somehow.


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