Posted by: Rob | May 2, 2008

A Wal-Mart Greeter

I’d seen this one before, but recently received it again courtesy of my bro-in-law, J. From a couple of quick google searches I learned that: 1) it’s quite prevalent on pages across the internet, and 2) I have no idea who wrote it.

Anyway, it’s a short funny story (even though I personally abhor Wal-Mart, everything it stands for, everything it does to the small communities it invades, and generally refuse to shop there):

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into a Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart greeter said pleasantly, ‘Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?’

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, ‘Hell no, they ain’t. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why the hell would you think they’re twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?’

‘I’m neither blind nor stupid, Ma’am,’ replied the greeter. ‘I just couldn’t believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.’

I wish I could always come up with snappy comebacks like that in time for them to be of real use.


  1. Loves it!!!

  2. *snort*

    i’ve seen a great bumpersticker (i pattern my life after the teachings of bumperstickers, by the way): “Mal-Wart – your source of cheap plastic crap”

  3. ha that’s funny, hope to read more when I’m back online

  4. HAHA…I have read this somewhere before, but it is still funny, thanks for the laugh

  5. @UK – Thanks. Pretty tame stuff though.

    @daisyfae: I’ve seen a variation of that Mall Wart bumper sticker. Interestingly (before I quit shopping at Wal-Mart) the whole source for cheap plastic crap applied to the Wal-Marts in Canada. We used to shop in the (then new) Wal-Mart supercenter in Bartlesville, OK and found it to be quite superior to what was started in Canada. I don’t know if it’s changed much since I don’t go in there anymore, though.

    @nursemyra: Thanks for stopping by. And welcome back – we’ve missed you.

    @Pammy: You’re welcome. Some of the laughs are old, some are corny, but a laugh is a laugh.

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