Posted by: Rob | April 15, 2008

Random Neurons Firing (or Stall Thoughts)

So I’m in the men’s room today using one of the stalls. And I got to thinking about US Senator Larry Craig from Idaho. Haven’t heard much about him in the news lately, have we? My quick google search elicited little in the way of new information concerning Senator Craig’s plight, but a fairly concise summary is available at wikipedia.

Now I’m not going to make any pronouncements on what did or did not happen in that Minneapolis-St. Paul airport lavatory. (As an aside, I’ve been through MSP on several occasions since the alleged incident with the undercover police officer and have searched in vain for the now infamous stall. I mean, who wouldn’t want to crap in that very same toilet?) But as I sat today pondering and looking down at my jeans around my ankles, I recalled how Senator Craig had mentioned in his defense that he had a “wide stance” when using the toilet. In fact, he became known as Senator Larry “Wide Stance” Craig on the late night fake news show circuit. Now I don’t imagine Senator Craig wears blue jeans; he’s probably more of a fortrel trouser man or even a Brooks Brothers man. (I wouldn’t guess Armani, though. I mean, c’mon, he’s from Idaho!) Even with a more forgiving trouser material weave, I am at a loss as to how one would strike a “wide stance” pose in a restroom stall when your pants are around your ankles.

The way I see it, the only way a guy could enter into a “wide stance” is if you had taken your trousers off completely. And why in heaven’s name would you want to do that??



  1. Senator Craig was also one of the “Singing Senators” – including none other than former attorney general, Bob Ashcroft. Perhaps ol’ Wide Stance was striking a pose to enhance his vocal projection, while taking advantage of the accoustics in the restroom?

    yeah. that’s it… (note to self: reconsider going to law school and becoming a defense attorney for responsibility-shirking assholes!)

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